I don't think anyone has ever looked at me that way or ever will again

I was out walking Miss Jetta the other day on a beautiful sunny day but I was feeling grey inside. You know, it was just one of those days where everything gets on top of you and you see the world through grey lenses. The sky can be blue without a cloud and the birds chirping but nothing shakes that feeling.

Do you ever have days where you swear that everything you experience feels transparent? Sometimes I feel that I can see through the the essence of someones soul. On those days mostly I want to pull the doona over my head so that I can't see any of it. Then the next day all is fine and I see the good in everyone and everything again.

Anyhow truth be told I was out walking so I could have a bit of a cry in private, well publicly private behind my sunnies :) Cant even remember why...hormones? lol Miss Jetta wasn't keen on settling this particular day and I noticed her looking up at me with the strangest expression. She was looking up at me with such intensity with a look of pure angelic adoration. It took my breath away. I don't think anyone has ever looked at me that way or ever will again. She didn't break her gaze for a long time staring up at me so innocently probably wondering at my tears.

I don't know what to make of it why she chose that moment to direct that feeling towards me. Did she know that I was upset and needed that then? Could she? She was only 6 weeks old. Another one of the mysteries of her. Everyday is a discovery...